she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize