i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Randomize
