please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
