I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Randomize
