nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Randomize