I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
