I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
