Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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