my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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