OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
