Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
