I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
