alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
