Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Success! We fucked roommates!
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
