addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
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