Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
We need to get me chipped asap
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
