Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
