All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
