and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
Randomize
