I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
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