Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
