So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize