we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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