she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Randomize
