party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize