I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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