Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
