His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize
