Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Randomize
