i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
lol hangovers are for mortals.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize