Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
How external is "for external use only"?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize
