Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
we're chasing vodka with high fives
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize