She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
areolas are like halos for boobs.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
