u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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