Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
