how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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