and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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