Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I need a beard to bite.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
