I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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