My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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