New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
