He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
