I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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