Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
