don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
