Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
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