Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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