i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
