Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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