I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
last night I used snow as a chaser
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
