Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Randomize
