I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
