some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
