Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
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