i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
