I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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