Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wish i was in the wii world.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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