am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
