Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
