I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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