WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
