You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
