Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
