I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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