i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
