We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize