I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
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