Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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