people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
