we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
