The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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