Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
