"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Randomize
