Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
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