Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
