I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
