There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize