Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize