wake up i wanna do it froggy style
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
